Creating Your Happiness Plan

Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

~Gloria Steinem

I’ve talked a lot about making a plan to achieve your therapy goals.

Planning to make change through goal-setting may sound simple to some – or complicated and confusing to others. No matter what your experience level, making a plan and setting goals for emotionally related outcomes can be confusing and feel disjointed.

Why is having a plan important?

If you’ve ever been on a crash diet and lost weight quickly, you’ll understand this completely. I imagine for those of you who have lost weight on a fad diet, 92% gained that weight back (and then some), either soon after or some years later.

My aim is always to help you live your life in moderation, so you can love your life every day.

Crash diets, for example, are never done in moderation. They are the antithesis of moderation. When you deny yourself of food and nourishment, you are unhappy.

On the other hand, when you eat what your body needs, not too much and not too little, you can reach and maintain a healthy weight. On an ongoing basis.

The concept of moderation applies to all goal attainment.

Conquering depression, for example, can’t occur overnight and all in one shot. That’s why “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” and “just snapping out of it” don’t work.

It’s all about creating new habits – lifelong habits that don’t seem like torture.

It’s about creating doable habits that don’t seem like punishment.

And by the way, when you do this, you enjoy your life much more – from day ONE – because you’re not denying yourself, and you’re treating yourself with respect. This is true no matter what your goal.

Together, we’ll simplify your goals with laser-like precision.

You deserve to life your life happily. Daily.

The key to successfully reaching your goals is to create accurate goals.

From establishing order in your surroundings to managing depression, anxiety, or stress and the accompanying symptoms to managing illness and pain.

Staying with the fad diet example: is the accurate goal to lose weight quickly? And then gain it back, without learning how to give your body and soul what it needs to continuously thrive? Is your goal to be on a carousel of unhealthy diets for a lifetime? I think not.

Your endgame, hopefully, is to enjoy each day of your existence by nourishing your body, mind, and soul.

I want your goal to include feeling happy frequently – and not to delay happiness until the time you reach your optimal weight or whatever goal you have in mind.

I want you to be content on any given day, no matter where you are in your progress.

Creating accurate goals can take a bit of trial and error. Patience with yourself. And patience with the process.

And that’s where therapy can help.

Most people give up because it’s difficult to tolerate their feelings during “the process.”

Together, we’ll create your plan, develop skills to help you stick to it in moderation, and train for future planning and goal-setting. All the while we will manage your feelings during the process.

What we think, how we feel, and what we do while we are working on our goals are just a part of the larger picture of “the process.” Isn’t how we manage “the process” of change just a portrayal of how we live life?

How we tolerate the process of working toward goals and making lasting change is a microcosm of how we live life.

The same goes for how you ride the waves of unexpected change because, as you know, there are plenty of these in life.

Ultimately, acquiring skills to manage your goals daily helps you live your life to the happiest degree, regardless of the circumstances.

In therapy, you’ll master the following concepts:

Setting achievable long-term goals.

Setting doable short-term goals using SMART goals.

Cultivating frustration tolerance and patience toward yourself
and “the process” of making change.

Letting go of rigidity and gaining flexibility in your thoughts
and actions. In other words, loosening up!!

Loving your life NOW.

Call me at (914) 400-3617. Together, let’s build your Plan for Happiness.